Life in The Fast Lane

Well, Life is moving faster than I imagined it would a mere year ago. Lessons have been learned at exponential rates. Every dark night in the soul was necessary. Every impending sense of demise was necessary. The existential rush is alive and pulsing like never before because there were times when its rapidity was thought to be chaos. But, in actuality, it never has lost its order. Its purpose perhaps is so strong it had no choice but to ignite me in such a way. Because now I am in the fast lane, speeding at the rate it was all meant to occur at. I am not on the outside, looking in and I am not on the inside, looking out. I am inside, outside, there, here, and everywhere.

Now, moreso than ever, sadness cannot sustain itself within me. It fades quickly because I am able to quickly understand its source and most of the time realise it fruitlessness. When there are hints of self-pity, I cringe. This life of mine is not all mine. I cannot so rightfully say that I owe my existence to what I have done and can do with it. First, I must thank my mother. Secondly, I must take on a perspective that transcends any appreciation of Earth and its biological gifts. You can say, God. But I am unsure as to whether I will ever use that title in seriousness. It is more than a name. Of course I cannot script its impact. Words fail me. I can say, however, that nothing is separate from one another. With this bit of knowledge, I can no longer allow the critical and pessimistic shades of my coloured life seep onto others. I do want to be a healing light. Any darkness I experience, although can be shared in trust when necessary, shall remain behind a curtain of true and infinite positivity. It is not the same as masking pre-existing problems. That was something I have done. This curtain's purpose is for selfless reasons as to help others move beyond their sense of doubts. I realise that my negativity is too complex to willingly reveal. It will confuse, puzzle, and complicate situations that it never needed to enter in the first place. I take responsibility for this and do not think it is worth delving into anymore for it is an understanding that can only be worked out internally and with this higher source.

I have been travelling a lot but through it all, it has not been what I have seen, eaten, the weather I've experienced, that has made the most significant imprint on my perceptions of the world. It has been the people and the changes in my own mind that inspire me more than anything. It is the connections. I could've been anywhere, in any place, at any time. It just so happened it occurred in the places I have gone to. The souls I have met and the potential impact I have made will fuel my motivation and purpose more than anything. I always think that travelling creates that same sort of excited movement and change that our own souls actually yearn for. It is the physical representation of such. As we travel and extend ourselves outwards, we do the same inwards and discover more of ourselves.

I am really blown away by the love and beauty in the world despite all else that has occurred. I continue forth in spreading love with fortitude as now I have truly seen it in all corners of the globe.